


He thinks he might've been holy, once

by Aly0000



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Ishbalan | Ishvalan, Gen, Ishbal | Ishval, Ishbalan | Ishvalan Alphonse Elric, Ishbalan | Ishvalan Edward Elric, Ishbalan | Ishvalan Trisha Elric, Military, Military Ranks, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aly0000/pseuds/Aly0000
Summary: Edward Elric learns hate young. He learns it with the look of people in the street, when they walk past with his mother, with her white hair, cherry red eyes and bronze skin. He learns it with the way his family looks at his father, whispering about his impiety. He learns it with the way the men in stiff Amestrian blue look at them. Yes, Edward Elric learns hate young. But he refuses to cave, refuses to be burnt because he flew too close to the sun. So he walks forward, never looking back; chin raised, eyes bright and teeth bared, because Icarus will not fall.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric, Edward Elric & Jean Havoc, Edward Elric & Pinako Rockbell, Edward Elric & Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Edward Elric & Scar, Edward Elric & Van Hohenheim, Edward Elric & Winry Rockbell
Comments: 13
Kudos: 257





	1. Chapter 1

What about the others?

Alphonse Elric learns to love young. He learns it with the way his older brother would look at him. He learns it with the way his family looks at him, even though his golden hair and eyes don’t resemble theirs. He learns it with the subtle way Teacher looks at him, motherly affection shining. He learns it with the way his father would hold him, despite disappearing not too long later. Yes, Alphonse Elric learns to love young. But he refuses to simply look on, refuses to stare from a cage of his own creation, only giving warnings not to fly too close to the sun, refuses to watch on as his brother falls. So he follows, never regretting his decision; gaze of steel, eyes burning (with love? empathy? fear? forgiveness?) and ready to catch Icarus should he ever plummet down, because Daedalus refuses to simply look on. 

Winry Rockbell learns despair young. Learns it from the way her parents got killed by a patient, learns it when her friends (brothers) lose their bodies, learns it with the heart-wrenching agony she feels when Edward screams, because he had to put on his automail. Yes, Winry Rockbell learns despair young. But she refuses to stop and shroud herself with that despair, because she will not turn her own siblings into gold because of her greed and foolishness. So she stays, a silent support that the two brothers could return to, because Midas will not fall to her greed.   
...  
Winry knows something is wrong when the house near hers lights up with a strange, supernatural light. She knows when her grandmother ushers her back home, but she refuses. They go into the house together, and Winry almost screams with the sheer atrocity of things inside the room. The blood, the body, the injuries. So she does the only thing she can: she stands up straight and helps them, comforting them.

Her grandmother buries the thing in the ground, never to be seen again.   
…  
Pinako almost laughs when Lt. Col. Mustang shows up at her home to talk to Alphonse and Edward. Because the burner of Ishval, trying to help two Ishvalans boys? She could laugh at the irony of the things, more so when he invites them to join the military, to become the very thing that killed their people. But she doesn’t, and that’s that.  
…  
2nd Lt. Jean Havoc almost doesn’t believe that this is the boy he’s supposed to pick up. A dark-skinned, golden-eyed twelve-year old boy. He scoffs, thinking it had to be a prank. But it isn’t, and a child is introduced to the military.  
…  
Col. Roy Mustang almost flinches when he hears of the boys’ lineage. Because he can’t get the screams out of his head, and the smell of burning flesh out of his mind. So he does the only thing he can, and apologizes. But the only thing he gets back is a withering glare filled with hate and other things he could never hope to understand. So he still feels guilt when he sees them, but he will get over it, eventually.  
…  
Scar almost believes that the boys are Amestrian, he would’ve had the eldest not shouted in Ishvalan his younger brother’s name, prayed in Ishvalan to Ishvala, despite having sinned, having gone against everything their God taught. He would’ve, if his Ishvalan didn’t have that accent only children born in Ishval had. He would’ve, if he wasn’t looking at the eldest’s clothing and seen the traditional sash worn beneath the cloak.

Scar doesn’t go after them again.  
…  
1st Lt. Riza Hawkeye doesn’t want to teach Edward how to use a gun. Her point is made and no other precisions are needed.   
…  
Edward Elric almost loses his will to live when he sees the Xingese soldiers die for a country that isn’t theirs, suffer from monsters that they should not have to fight. But he continues forward, because that’s the only way he’ll allow himself to go. He doesn’t, no, won’t allow himself to go back, won’t allow himself to stop till his brother is given the things he deserves.  
…  
Alphonse Elric doubts his brother, when the other empty armor tells him that he is fake, that his soul is fake, that he is artificial. But he doesn’t anymore, not when he remembers the lengths his older brother was about to go to, just to make him feel again. He doesn’t doubt his family anymore.  
…  
Van Hohenheim remembers when his wife was alive, remembers when he was happy, and in a family. He still remembers, especially when he sacrifices himself for his sons, his flesh and blood. He dies remembering.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter that I never planned to post... hopefully you guys like it.

Edward stands at the street corner, waiting for the officer supposed to come get him. He is dressed in mourning red, with the sash hidden within the vibrant colour, and black leather pants. He refuses to wear the military uniform, will not dress like the people who ruined his homeland, who spilled their blood on the desert sand. He knows that the officer, Havoc, is surprised that this child is joining the military, as a state alchemist, too. 

He doesn’t care, he became a dog of the military for a single reason. He isn’t surprised anymore, when he learns that his commanding officer is Lt. Roy Mustang. He has to follow the orders of the burner of Ishval, the one who is hailed as the hero of the civil war. 

He walks into the lieutenant’s office, slamming the doors open, giving a sloppy salute with the wrong hand, waiting for his assignment. He’s sent to the far end of Amestris, at the Youswell coal mine. He looks at the tired people and hate burns in him, bright as the day his CO burnt down his home. Codly, he looks down at the young girl the pig hired to protect him, seeing a misguided child, not much older than him. 

When he goes to Liore, he hears about the Philosopher’s Stone, and hope swells, a tiny sprout, quickly crushed under the founder’s cruel words. He openly says things that would be considered blasphemy, heresy. He’s called a heretic, and thinks about how Ishvala surely abandoned them now, for trying to play God. He tells Rose about Icarus.

(Truly, building a human is cheap. But the real price you have to pay for stepping foot on the holy ground isn’t)

On the train, he yells, hate still festering inside, lashing out at the man who dared to compare their automail arms dared to say they were similar, because who the fuck was he to judge? 

When he’s invited to study at the Sewing Life Alchemist: Shou Tucker’s home, he gets excited, knowing that he could learn tons of new things, things that could help him bring back Alphonse’s body. Oh, he learns plenty of things, alright, but nothing like what he wanted. He relearns that humans are disgusting creatures, that the government is fucked up, like he expected it to be. 

(They are only human, after all, broken beyond repair, stupidly clinging to the idea that only love could fix them. Nina is a reminder)

He gets angry, when the serial killer takes Winry hostage, because how dare this revolting man think he was allowed to touch his sister, his family in everything but blood. Ishvalans hold their own close, after all. He gets scared, but that fear quickly turns into rage, angry at the man, at himself, for being scared. (But after all, he’s only human)

They face off against Scar. Well, facing off is most likely not the correct word. It's a one-sided beatdown, mostly, Alphonse nearly destroyed, him almost killed. But he doesn’t regret it, not when speaking Ishvalan had made the man realise he was attacking his own kin, his brothers. Mustang intervenes, and Scar flees, leaving behind his prey. Scar remembers the boy’s eyes, the owner about to die, but no fear was inside, simply grim resignation and hatred so bright it burned everything in its path, and Scar wasn’t exempt.

Edward isn’t as mad as he should be when they find out the imposters. He knows they have their reasons, but he is mad when he finds out the scientist that has been using them for his own profit. 

Marcoh tells them about the Ishval massacres, unknowing that the brothers were already painfully knowledgeable about it. He tells them about his own involvement, but surprisingly, Edward doesn’t resent him. He didn’t know, and that makes him a victim as well, but he can’t help remembering the sheer power of the alchemists that stormed his village.

At the lab, Edward hates, because how dare that empty husk turn his brother against him. He feels the sharp sting of betrayal, and vows to never let Al feel it ever again. He admits his regrets over Alphonse’s mechanical body, but immediately feels relief afterwards, knowing that Al didn’t hold it against him.

He knows that the prisoners' lives are worth nothing compared to his brother’s body, but he can’t do it. He wonders if that makes him a coward, not killing for his loved ones. WInry comforts him immediately afterwards, because he should never feel guilty for not sinning. 

When they find Scar again, he has a favour to ask, and the Elric brothers don’t hesitate. They freely speak their language, there, and nobody whispers a word. They don’t talk about the golden boy with the whisper of the desert on his lips, protecting their own. The boy is rescued, and Edward still fights against the racism against Ishvalans.

He feels, yes, but the only emotion that will always be in the very bottom of his heart will be hate.


End file.
